Moved

Moved: a change of location (dictonary.com).

I moved to http://soflychrissa.tumblr.com/ Follow me there! :)

Valentine

Valentine: a sweetheart chosen or greeted on this day (dictionary.com).

Sweet.

Beautiful

Beautiful: having beauty; having qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about; wonderful; very pleasing or satisfying (dictionary.com).

Life is beautiful.

Today is the first day of December, meaning 24 more days until Christmas :D

Jem- Aciiid!

Excited

Excited: stirred emotionally; agitated (dictionary.com).

What am I excited for? Yesterday, Christina called me in the afternoon (she never calls me in the afternoon!! Is something wrong?!) I pick up the phone and it seems urgent and she asks me if I am busy and I said no. And then she tells me about this awesome sale Southwest Airlines is having!!! She said the tickets to go to San Diego were 50 bucks! And I was like :O! She sent me the link. Before I even do anything, I ask my mom if I can go to San Diego and she was okay with it! I set up the flight and everything and I clicked the purchase button! OMG! I am going to San Diego to visit my girls! :D To answer that question: I am excited to go to San Diego to visit my two awesome friends, Christina and Maggie!!

Woooooooooooooooooot.

Sigh

Sigh: to let out one's breath audibly, as from sorrow (dictionary.com).

:(

Bruised.

Decided

Decided: to determine or settle (dictionary.com)

Well, I don't know, but I decided to delete my tumblr blog. I thought that because this was my first one I started off with, I should just stick with it.

Wow. So like, around last week or something Vina introduced pandora.com to me and omg I Love it! It's so amazing! Best online radio station by far.

Hmmm. Should I start tweeting? Haha.

Yesterday, I rearranged my room and wow does it look different. I can't wait to go furniture shopping this weekend :D

My walls are so plain.

Different

Different: distinct or separate (dictionary.com).

I am going to try something different. I don't think I will be using this blogging site for a while. Maybe I will update every now and then. Maybe. I don't know yet. Too many people know about this blog and sometimes I feel like I can't really talk about what I want.

I hate you fucking people. I think it's that time again where I just start deleting people from my life. I'm so sick and fed up of people.

Late.

Lost

Lost: to absent oneself; distracted; distraught; hopeless (dictionary.com).

I feel so lost. I don't even know anymore. All I have been feeling lately is frustration, annoyance, and hate. I just can't take it anymore. I feel like I've been keeping it in a bottle for so long I am about to just POP like a champagne bottle. To top it all off with all my anger, frustration, annoyance, and hatred; today I came home and my computer wouldn't work. My computer died. So basically my life is over now. I'm dead. I'm tired. I'm sick of everyone's shit. I've been cussing more than usual too. I just want to break down! But I don't want to cry! It's stupid! I don't know why I have been so negative lately. Ehhh; I am not home right now. But I just got a phone call from my sister and apparently my computer works again; I feel relieved, but I still feel blah.

Whenever I am around you, you make me smile. You make me happy. You give me that stress free vibe. You calm me. You make me laugh. You got me ;)

Faint.

New

New: freshly; anew or afresh (dictionary.com).

Something new.

:)

Inspiration.

Go

Go: to leave a place; depart (dictionary.com).

I hate you. Go die. I hate people. Leave me alone.

"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

Vindicated.

Thinking

Thinking: rational; reasoning (dictionary.com).

Too much thinking equals confusion.

I'm back at that spot again. I don't know who to talk to anymore. I feel like none of you can understand. It's like I'm walking in a corn maze trying to figure my way out; map less.

Change.

Carnival

Carnival: a traveling amusement show, having sideshows, rides, etc (dictionary.com).

Yesterday at school they had this carnival type thing going on. It was pretty cool. Very loud and fun :) Adrienne called me in the morning to go early cause they were giving out cool stuff, but to get the cool stuff I have to do a scavenger hunt type of thing and I went alone because everyone else had already done it. But I met a new friend along the way. His name is Richard. He's pretty cool. Like, as we were talking we found so many things we have in common! I was like OMG! SO AWESOME! He is also from San Jose, the east side; just like me. He also went to Overfelt High School, just like me. He helped me find all these places while hunting for the locations to get stamps :) He is such a nice person!

My stupid mug spoon thingy broke T______________T

Man, I haven't written anything in my blog for a while >.> But college is so much fun :D

I thought it was gone, but I guess not. It came back all of a sudden. It's like I'm trapped in a room, a small dark room. And I currently have no ice cream to soothe this whatever it is.

Trigger.

College

College: an institution of higher learning, esp. one providing a general or liberal arts education rather than technical or professional training (dictionary.com).

Wow, the first day of college was amazing at California State University of Sacramento. But still, I should have gone to San Francisco State University; so I can avoid people here >.>

"If I could paint, I would paint a wall of misery."

I never told you.

Capricious

Capricious: changeable (dictionary.com).

Everything right now is capricious. I have so many friends surrounding me, but yet I feel so alone. I'm not lost, I'm just wandering. Maybe I need to stop for a second and look around? It's like laying on a nice hill looking up at the clouds as they pass by. I don't know what to do anymore. When I run into these problems I want to come to you, but I don't. I want to open up, but I can't.

Isolated.

Happening

Happening: something that happens; occurrence; event (dictionary.com).

Why do these things keep happening to me?! Ugh!

"Life's a bitch, then you die."

Left.

Conceal

Conceal: to keep secret; to prevent or avoid disclosing or divulging (dictionary.com).

>.>

What if.

Unwelcome

Unwelcome: not wanted (dictionary.com).

Dang, I have never felt so unwelcome before. To have thought they would be happy that I decided to show up; I guess not.

I just finished taking my ELM test; so boring, so tired. I feel so blahh.

I'm hungry and people are taking forever to finish! My dad is already here to pick me up. I finished my test within an hour too. All I had this morning was coffee.

Shady.

Birthday

Birthday: the anniversary of a birth (dictionary.com).

Yesterday was my birthday.

When the clock hit 12; I get this phone call from my friends, Christina and Rouel. They called to say happy birthday and we talk on the phone for a few minutes and then my door bell rings. I'm thinking; who can this be? Maybe it's my sister outside or it's my sister's friend. So I open the door and I see people >.> Christina, Rouel, Paul, and Dave all standing outside my door and holding a lit cheese cake and they all said "Happy Birthday!" Awwww so sweet! I was so surprised! Omg! They are such sweet hearts.

Ahhh; they didn't leave my house until 7am! Those crazy people.

So, I woke up at 1pm because my cousin called me and wanted to make sure I was awake because I was going on a SPA DAY! She picks me up at 3pm and start. I love getting pampered :D I got a mani, pedi, haircut, and some waxing. The only thing I was missing was a massage. But we had to leave because we were going to go out for "dinner."

So I get home like around 7pm; I think. As I ring the door bell, I was hoping for a surprise party! But my mom opened the door with Taven in her arms. And I see no one! So I'm like, okay. I won't be getting a surprise party and we are really going out for dinner. That's fine because we were going out for sushi and everyone knows I love sushi.

Then my cousin asks me to get her something and it was in my mom's closet. So I go into my mom's closet (it's a walk in) and I kind of fling the door open cause I do that a lot and I hear this thump sound as I walk in. I turn around and it's my friend Tran hiding. She totally walks away without saying a word to me and then I get the stuff for my cousin and I'm like, "Omg; okay. What the heck is going on?" So I assumed that Tran was going to go out and eat dinner with us and I was like, yay! I haven't seen her in so long!

So, we're waiting for Taven to get picked up and I'm hungry. I'm like, okay... When are we going to leave? And my sister is like, they'll be here in 20 minutes and I'm like okay. So I go inside my room to get ready and stuff and then my sister is like, "Chrissa come outside, Jessica's brother wants to meet you." I'm like, "What the hell? Uhhh. Okay, but tell him I'm not interested!" As I walk out to my drive way there are a whole bunch of people and they all yell out "SURPRISE!"

Wow, I got a double surprise on my birthday! I was like, O_O Ahhhh so shocked. So surpised! Hahaha. Awwwww they really do care :D

I was lied to >.> I can't trust these people anymore! Hahaha...

At the end of the night I put all the puzzle pieces together. All this time I was out of the house was because I needed to be distracted. And every time I would talk about my birthday I would be somewhat ignored. I forgive them because they did it to make me happy :D They are wonderful people.

Ohhh; how can I forget! So, I get caked and I went into the kitchen to get clean my face and when I was done, I was given an envelope. They make me sit on a chair and read the letter out loud. It said "Read Out Loud. Happy Birthday Chrissa (heart). 2 for 1 Lap Dance." Music comes on and I get a lap dance from Liem and Luke! OMG IT WAS SO X RATED! They started stripping and everything! They had on bikini bottoms. Omg! They even put whip cream on my arms and licked it off and then Liem bit my neck; what a freak! Omg! He's like a secret vampire.

But all in all, I had a great time :D Very memorable. The very first second of my birthday was great and so was the ending :)

Lovely.

Weather

Weather: the state of the atmosphere with respect to wind, temperature, cloudiness, moisture, pressure, etc (dictionary.com).

Today I went to San Francisco. The weather was just absolutely amazing. The breeze and temperature was just right. The way the wind flows through my hair was great. Why did I choose Sacramento State over San Francisco State again? Ohh yeah; that's right >.> What's done is done.

Going to Pier 39 was super fun :) I got to see magic tricks, some guy juggle machetes, sea lions (stinky), USS Pampanito Tour, Alcatraz, Musee Mecanique- The Mechanical Museum and foooood. As it got closer to the evening it started to get super cold! So we went and got some coffee. San Francisco cold weather and coffee go so well together.

The USS Pampanito Tour was amazing! It's so antique! Omg, I loved it! As we were leaving we had to go up the ladder and as I was going up, I thought I was queasy and just all of a sudden felt dizzy; but it was just the submarine moving back and fourth >.>

This was when I thought I was dizzy >.<

Omg! So something strange happened. I was super scared and almost went into panic mode. My face was priceless. So as we were going to go tour we were just enjoying the weather and scenery and then all of a sudden this police guy stops us! He was like, "Stop there! You're in violation." I was thinking to myself "Omg! I don't remember doing anything wrong." And then he goes, "Violation of being serious!" It was because we weren't like all smiley smiley. Lol! He's a fun police. He made me laugh so hard and my smile was so big :D And then he was complimenting me and what not. Made me blush XD He was doing it for a good cause and so we donated some money. He also gave me cool stickers and now I can remember this funniness.

This fun police; he gave me my revelation. It took a fun police to make me realize a lot of things. Haha. I can finally let it all go; I am now happy and satisfied. Really. I must say, the universe is a beautiful place :)

You got to Love San Francisco :)

Blah, it was time to leave San Francisco and go back to Sacramento. When I got home I bonded with my Mom and Sisters. We just talked and caught up with a lot of stuff. I also helped my Sister make Lumpia. Even though I didn't want to, I did anyway.

Abundance.

Speechless

Speechless: temporarily deprived of speech by strong emotion, physical weakness, exhaustion (dictionary.com).

I am speechless. I don't know how to describe the feelings I feel. I feel like I'm getting ambushed by a flock of birds and they're pecking me.

I notice these things; I'm not stupid. This is ridiculous. I feel invisible.

Today is my friend's last day in Sacramento before he leaves to San Francisco. We hung out tonight and just talked. It was nice. I won't be seeing him for a long time >:/ I'm definitely going to miss him; especially his sense of humor. Who will tell me stupid jokes when I'm venting to them about these stupid issues I am having and try and make me happy? Who will hold me together when I'm pouring out?

Inexpressible.