Self Conscious

Self Conscious: excessively aware of being observed by others; conscious of oneself or one's own being (dictionary.com).

So apparently I have man hands. I feel so self conscious now. I don't ever want to go out. Ugh! I might as well turn lesbian and be a butch lesbian! Goodbye fellas! Hello ladies! I don't ever want to hold any ones hands ever again! Like omg! I am so serious. You have no idea. Like my self esteem went down the drain! I will no longer have a social life. All I worked for just went down the drain! Every time I look down at my hands; all I will ever think is that they are "man hands." I just want everyone to leave me alone! Ugh! I think I'm about to cry! T_T

Heartbroken.

Patience

Patience: quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence (dictionary.com).

Patience is a virtue. People have been saying that to me a lot lately. I can't help but be a spoiled brat. Hahaha. I want my car now. But it's whatever now. I know I will eventually get one.

Oh so I am super happy because my mom is taking a 2 month vacation :D And so I get to bond more with her :) We've already planned to go walking or jogging; exercising in the morning :D Cause since my little sisters school is like right there. We're just going to walk there and then go to the park and just exercise and talk :D Yay! I'm excited :)

Beautiful Dirty Rich.

Orientation

Orientation: an introduction, as to guide one in adjusting to new surroundings, employment, activity, or the like (dictionary.com).

Sacramento States Freshman Orientation was boring and a waste of time. And I didn't see any bad ones :( But I met some new people. They gave us Chinese food, but the Chinese food was so fake! So American. Picking classes is stressing. Omg; during the nursing seminar; ohhhh gosh. I felt so overwhelmed. I was so close to changing my major to undeclared. It's damn hard! But whatever; I know I can do it, I'm just lazy. Hahaha.

"Let's drink! Until we can't feel feelings anymore!" -Facebook Quiz

Rocks grow.

Slumping

Slumping: to decline or deteriorate, as health, business, quality, or efficiency (dictionary.com).

I think my mom is starting to notice that I am slumping a lot. I haven't really been in the mood to do anything. She can tell that I am pretty damn sad and so ajfsd;fjdf. So she said that we should go on a family trip soon. But I don't know where I want to go. The beach sounds nice though. A day or weekend at Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and San Jose would be fantastic.

Today I went to the animal shelter with Maggie and Liem; it was pretty interesting. I saw a lot of cute dogs :) But it smelled funky :/ Then we went to the mall and bought stuff. I got this super cute cardigan and these sandals I have been longing for. They look so sexy on my feet :D

My Sexy Sandals :D

My Cute Cardigan :D

I didn't even sleep until 4:30ish 5 o'clock and then woke up at 7:30ish cause my little sisters came into my room to say bye before they left to school. Usually I fall right back to sleep; but not this time for some reason :( I must sleep early today before I look all dead tomorrow for orientation. Like it even matters though, besides my ID Picture. Hahaha.

Tired of trying.

Ignore

Ignore: to refrain from noticing or recognizing (dictionary.com).

I'm going to ignore certain people for a while.

I am seriously sick of almost everyone. Volleyball feels like it gets gayer every time we play. Too much people; meaning less time to have fun or even play. I don't think I will be attending the sports activities for a while. I'm just annoyed and tired. Ehhhh. It's not like I would miss anything anyway.

I miss San Jose. Maybe I should go there for a week or a weekend. I need a break. I should spend time with my friends and family there anyway. And I miss my dad a lot too. So I can just stay with him or something. Father and daughter bonding time. He's coming this weekend :D I haven't seen him in like 2 or 3 weeks. It's been a while.

Maybe I should go to Seattle in August; take some time off and visit my uncle? I should talk to my mom about that tomorrow. Seattle would be fun? I hope. Hahaha.

Cause I really don't give a fuck!

Break time.

Searching

Searching: to make a thorough examination of; look over carefully in order to find something; explore (dictionary.com).

I only got 2 hours of sleep. I woke up tired and cranky and not in the mood for anything.

My dad didn't come this weekend; he's working :(

Searching for the right car ended as another disappointment. I am seriously tired of car shopping. To be honest; I got tired of it after last Monday. I might as well quit at life right now. I've been defeated. Oh the fuck well. Being in the mood I am right now is not great. I am pissy and moody. I am so angry, frustrated, and so upset I can't even talk or at least I mean I don't want to speak to anybody at all.

This is the beginning of my hardcore hermiting. That's when I just ignore everyone. Don't call me; I won't pick up. Don't AIM me; I won't respond back. Leave voice mails and maybe I'll get back to you. This hardcore hermiting will probably last a week or so. Until I feel like coming out. The only way to see me or talk to me is that you'll just have to come over to my house because I refuse to go out. I am actually even skipping sports activities.

Warning: If you decide to come over; I just want to let you know that I might not talk to you. We might just sit there in front of the TV and make sure to bring my favorite ice cream (pistachio nut or mocha almond fudge). It soothes the pain I feel.

Sorry everyone; the hermiting club has got me whipped.

Okay; now that I got out all my frustration; I may have over exaggerated just a little bit :/

Goodbye.

Picnic

Picnic: an excursion or outing in which the participants carry food with them and share a meal in the open air (dictionary.com).

As much as I wanted to hermit today; I did not because we had a family picnic today :) We went to Shasta Park; I think. I don't remember what it was called; it's a very cute place. A lot of open grass area. They even had this awesome mister; but I was so not in the mood to get misted on or wet at all. I was a little cranky cause I was still tired from last night or morning; whatever. It was also extremely hot.

I have not straightened my hair or blow dried for like a week until today; I usually just put it up in a bun and clipped it. Hahah; I've been lazy. But today I wanted to look nice for my family so I blow dried and straightened my hair and as I was doing so, I almost ironed my ear; well, I kind of did; it burned. But anyway, my hair is getting so long! It's about time! And omg; I love my Chi :) I remember when I first got it; I was like :DDDDD Yay! My Chi is my best friend. Hahaha.

Meet my best friend.

Back to talking about the picnic; I get side tracked XD It was really nice. It was hot at first but then it got cooler and I just laid there for a few minutes watching clouds pass by and I was wearing sun glasses. My grandma; Mama Suzie even called me "Miss Hollywood" cause I was just kind of ehhhh with shades on. Hahaha.

Spending time with family is so much fun. I was just laying and talking with my little sisters and OMG! I guess they were being losers on Google and decided to look up my name and freaken they found my blog! Hahaha. They were like, I was reading it and it was so interesting; it was like reading a book. OMG! As soon as I got home I blocked this site from their account so they can't read it anymore! Hahaha. Damn kids...

Mama Suzie brought a few of her friends to the picnic and one of her friends thought I was a freshman in high school; and I was like, nooo; I'm an incoming freshman to college. Hahaha. He was all, but you still look like a little baby. I bet it was my height :/

We had some pretty interesting talks. We talked about prostitutes, politics, work, jobs, the economy, and a bunch of other weird stuff. I don't know how the prostitutes thing came up though. Mama Suzie's friend played the guitar and omg; it was so beautiful and soothing. It was like the cutest picnic ever cause it was just bonding time, nice weather, food, and guitar. Lovely.

The kids and Mama Suzie played Mother May I. She made them do the most ridiculous things. She made them do funny faces and make noise and hop and walk weirdly at once. She made my little sister walk and make weird Native American noise. I was like LMFAO!

My cousin came late and when she came we just walked around the park and I guess this park has an alarm to when they kick you out. It was so weird. It was like the police was about to come or something. It happened once and then we ignored it and were like okay whatever. So I decided to go on this super cute spring rider and I was scared I couldn't fit it; but I did. I even had more room. As I got in the alarm went off again and I was like O___O Am I in trouble? Lol. The freaken surveillance was telling people to leave so then I got off; it was fun. Hahaha.

Cool air and soothing guitar music.